Now Playing: Bright Eyes - It's Cool, We Can Still Be Friends

Something that'll stick with me for a long time is something Ismael told me last night as we debated several issues. Put simply, it's easier to say goodbye to someone when you're angry at them. I think a lot of people do it, I've done it, we'll all continue to do it.. and we know that's not the way to go.

And to be honest, I know I'm supposed to be "angry" or feel something other than a headache lately.. but it isn't comin. So I'm gonna work on what matters to me, and I'm gonna try really hard not to reach the level of anger that people think I should be at. I'm not up for playing dirty.. I'm not up for playing anything at all.

But yeah man.. how true is it that we love to burn the bridge before we part instead of leaving on good terms? I think I [and the world really] have been going about things the wrong way, because to continue this cycle is to perpetuate disappointment in all of our lives. And to perpetuate such negativity is to not live very happily [or peacefuly] at all.

Inevitably, we need to stop running. More importantly we [I] need to realize that if in the end, things really did not work out, it's okay. Life was never about who had the most friends. It's not about who had the most popular, or the cutest, or anything. Its about going through life experiencing different sorts of people until you come across somebody you can keep with you and rely on them the way you do family. I think I've found a few of those so far, and I thank God every night I have them with me, even if they're far far away.

It doesn't matter how many friends I have to lose in order to finally feel like I found something I can call my own. Hard to see myself say such a thing, but it's about time I saw life this way. There will be people I will fight tooth and nail to remain with and there's gonna people I'll look at and say to myself.. what's the point? I hope I don't sound too negative here.. I'm just trying out something I should have applied for myself a long time ago. Gotta let go of some things, of some friends.. but it's all my choice who I get in the ring with and who I walk away from for the sake of both parties.

Now Playing: The remorse from talking too loud on the telephone

So how much DOES Luis love Jenny [without becoming a death target for his brotha Matt]?

<3

that much. This convo just made the week soooooo much better. w00t!

Now Playing: The screams of Habib Christina and I

So what DO you do when your roommate decides to get 5/6 naked, strut like a drag queen, wear tight women's clothes, AND look good in them?

You burn out your eyes and cry. The end.

Now Playing: The Postal Service - We Will Become Silhouettes

You bet your ass I found my old blog-esque thing.

I remember I was recommended this new concept called writing back in the midst of the 11th grade mess.. and I guess I haven't stopped since. What memories came thru my head when I found that damn infiniteprofile =). It's something I should print out and put in a shoebox. I'd like to keep a record of myself growing up I guess.

When I'm old enough, I wanna be able to look through these things, sigh, smile, and just think to myself for a while. It feels like forever ago when this would show up on my screen:

# of times this was digested: 2363
People who actually matter...or not: promisering42
dannsw
mrflip816
mattzashelbullet
brdr123
nerdieboy
hatakekakashl
ushbelush
iamroel
oopeekaboo11
athena8618
sonicblastoise42
ohnoapolo13
petersaimname
xret3p

Of course, I just loooove thinking and one of my biggest flaws is the inability to STOP. Hey, I blame the schools..

Sometimes I feel like I'm mentally ill or something. I mean dude, it's hard sometimes.. trying not to worry too much or feel so much or think too much. Most people make it seem so easy to mellow out and just BE, and it's something I gues I envy sometimes. I don't even know why I envy it when I like the way I process things.

Maybe cuz having so much on my mind to munch on really keeps me out of knowing what's going on around here, or anywhere. This inevitably means I sound insane a lot of times, or distorted... but hey. It comes with the territory.

Now Playing: The Postal Service - The District Sleeps Alone Tonight

lemme just say that I make the greatest cd's. Here's another time filler guys, FILL IT!

WRATH:
1. Who did you last get angry with? You know I haven't gotten angry in a while...
2. What is your weapon of choice? Words. but I like fists too.
3. Would you hit a member of the opposite sex? Playfully
4. How about of the same sex? That's how we communicate half the time
5. Who was the last person who got really angry at you? My little sister.. only cuz she hates when I poke her
6. What is your pet peeve? Superficiality.. or B.O.
7. Do you keep grudges, or can you let them go easily? Results may vary, it's all subjective.


SLOTH:
1. What is the one thing you're supposed to do daily that you haven't done in a long time? Writeee
2. What is the latest you've ever woken up? 2.30pm
3. Name a person you've been meaning to contact, but haven't? Jenny
4. What is the last lame excuse you made? "I fell asleep and didn't hear you knock"
5. Have you ever watched an infomercial all the way through (one of the long ones...)? Several ... oh my goodness -_-
6. How many times did you hit the snooze button on your alarm clock today? I didn't set it last night :).


GLUTTONY:
1. What is your overpriced yuppie beverage of choice? BOBA after ages... it still captivates my soul
2. Meat eaters: white meat or dark meat? Dark
3. What is the greatest amount of alcohol you've had in one sitting/outing/event? Dude.. Friedman's New Years
4. Have you ever used a professional diet company? No
5. Do you have an issue with your weight? Who doesn't? I'm so fucking vain sometimes
6. Do you prefer sweets, salty foods, or spicy foods? All ... food is my friend.
7. Have you ever looked at a small house pet or child and thought, "LUNCH!": maybe if the kid is holding a drumstick

LUST :
1. How many people have you seen naked (not counting movies/family)? 6
2. How many people have seen YOU naked (not counting physicians/family)? 7
3. Have you ever caught yourself staring at the chest/crotch of a member of your gender of choice during a normal conversation? More than I should..
4. Have you "done it"? Nope.. I had this "wait til marriage" epiphany a while ago. SIlly maybe, but as long as I get to 3rd then it's all gravy
5. What is your favorite body part on a person of your gender of choice? eyes o_O and lips... =9*
6. Have you ever been propositioned by a prostitute? Glen..
7. Have you ever had to get tested for an STD or pregnancy? nope


GREED:
1. How many credit cards do you own? uno
2. What's your guilty pleasure store? I love books and I really like board games :-(
3. If you had $1 million, what would you do with it? Use it for college, and save the rest for later [nice answer]
4. Would you rather be rich, or famous? Rich
5. Would you accept a boring job if it meant you would make megabucks? Yes.
6. Have you ever stolen anything? >)
7. How many MP3s are on your hard drive? 1232.. for now


PRIDE:
1. What one thing have you done that you're most proud of? I dunno.. I've grown up =D
2. What one thing have you done that your parents are most proud of? Graduating High School and getting into college
3. What thing would you like to accomplish in your life? To ensure my family's well-being and be utterly hot
4. Do you get annoyed by coming in second place? Sometimes. Depends on the situation. heh
5. Have you ever entered a contest of skill, knowing you were of much higher skill than all the other competitors? Well that's how I usually win..
6. Have you ever cheated on something to get a higher score? Yes.
7. What did you do today that you're proud of? I realized that I'm much cooler than I used to think


ENVY :
1. What item (or person) of your friends would you most want to have for your own? Brighton's IPOD!!!!
2. Who would you want to go on "Trading Spaces" with? Inside the life of Timothy Chin
3. If you could be anyone else in the world, who would you be? I like my self just as I am. HA! sorta.
4. Have you ever been cheated on? yeah
5. Have you ever wished you had a physical feature different from your own? Yes, I'd like a hot 6pack, but that's all.. I have the butt
6. What inborn trait do you see in others that you wish you had for yourself? Ability to pick up on subtlies
7. Do you wish you'd come up with this survey? Not really.
8. Finally, what is your favorite deadly sin? Lust~~~~~~~~~~

Now Playing: NRG - Nah Uh Dduh Kae

Don't ask me how or when it happened... but at some point I came to realize that while at some points we are left to live life alone.. we always have backup. I guess I'm trying to say that more than ever, I really really appreciate and love all my friends. And yeah I especially miss quite a few. Bah this is what happens when you leave me to do homework alone. Or do anything alone. hahah. late

PS. Sometimes I really do think I got the best possible roommate. Even if he likes sleeping with the light on.

Now Playing: Judy and Mary - Radio

I had sooo much fun chillin with the guys today. The Bonayon Brothers along with Joe and I headed to In n Out for some grubbin and you ALL know how I love that place. Then we split and had a very hardcore slackers life assessment meeting, which is alwayz great cuz very few people are as calm and collected about issues like em. Well.. moreso Joe hahaha.

After a few hrs I fiinnnnnaally got to go to Joe's house and for some reason, I got this huge nostalgia feeling.. hmm. Anywayz it was a lot of fun, and since it isn't every day that I get to have some time to kick it with Joe, it makes all the more kewl. :P Oh and he looks like Narahana from Battle Royale these days. He achieved great feats today when he became one of the few souls to ever step foot into my place, but it's not like I'm inviting him again ever... until I can get good enough at Sou Calibur II to break his face in >:O. I'm so glad I came home...

Now Playing: Dashboard Confessional - Remember to Breathe

I got to talk alot with Nic over the fone today. I'm really sorry but I really needed to steal you away for an hour =). Thanks for the backup.. I really seem to need it eh? NicOOLLEE you make me look like this :-) <---

And I just got off the fone with Matthew. [!] Damn, it's like I use the telefone quite a bit these past few days. What a great convo too. I'm pretty sure we hadn't had such a conversation since last year. Oh Matthew the wonders that months of perspective can do. Man.. so much to write about in the journal! hahahah. Thanks a lot guys.. I feel a lot lighter now.

There's a lot going through my head [and yes it's negative =D] that ... if I don't process in the EXACT correct fashion I'll end up killing people over. I've gotten a LOT of perspectives and a lot of revealing information.. damn damn damn. I'm a pretty experienced person [having an old soul is a good thing here], but bah.. how can I make any move without either getting violent, yelling at my family, or running off like a loon into the sunset?

Enough though. Hey! Just a few minutes ago, my little sister was born 9 years ago. Here I am sitting next to her sound asleep. I love you Rebel!!!! ^_^ May He grant you many more years rebellion... beddy bore, beddy bore. These past few hours made me feel like... all we need in life is support and time. That's all folks.. that's all.

Now Playing: nothing

Mother-fucking-maddness. Dude.. so much has happened within the last 2 hours that I REALLY AM GOING INSANE OVER ^%@#%@%#@. Let's see there's the GETTING MY JOURNAL BACK thing and the everyone getting drunk thing and he was crying and she started to too and then Habib and I had to take care of them for soooooo long... oh my GOD Riverside is a death trap. Help

Now Playing: The Postal Service - Angel Pumping Gas

why won't this moment last...

You know yesterday was the day man. I realized how easy it is [for me right now that is], and why all the dumb elitist kiddies back in high skool did it all the time. And at first I felt super guilty because I fell into this system that I hated most people for following.. but damn it sure felt good for a change. [/vague]

I actually got my cards read to me last nite. Tarot cards. I was hesitant at first because I dunno.. I wasn't sure if it went against any of my Christian beliefs and standards. But fuck restrictions, I was wrong. It was pretty accurate and THAT flipped me out. I don't mean that 'vague' accuracy that would fit into most anyone's life either; this was pretty much telling me everything that you KNOW is something that belongs to me.. that I experienced. I dunno.. it was interesting to say the least.

Lately though the worst feeling I get is the feeling that any efforts I put into people will just end up as valuable as something effortless.. that you're gonna make me squirm before deciding to talk to me again. Well my friend.. that's not how friends should treat each other. lunch time..

Now Playing: Trust Company - The Fear

there's a way out... hehe. NEW PICS! I also deleted some old links, and some old blog links. Some people I rather not have there due to inactivity or cuz they're jerks. hahah. Anyway, what better way to ring in the new changes than with a survey neh? I'm undecided.. we may possibly see more changes soon. But enough of that - enjoy the new stuff guys.

*4 bad habits*
1) always trying to please everyone
2) think too much when alone
3) eccentric taste of music which leaves people lookin at me crooked
4) on the defnsive a lot of times

*4 things you wish you had*
1) $$$$$$$$$
2) no worries and no drama
3) which would lead to tranquility..
4) IPOD!!!!!!

*4 scents that you love*
1) Polo Sport
2) Cool Water
3) Tommy
4) whatever a girl wears.. haha

*4 things that you are thinking about*
1) Uh... my hair is too short and it makes me look 8
2) how one good thing can make any bad day a decent one
3) why it took soooo long to get those new blog pics up
4) her...

*4 things you've done today*
1) slept
2) lounged
3) SHOWERED!
4) looked through blog/lj

*Last 4 things you bought*
1) chicken pizza
2) battery for watch
3) newww pants
4) Reese's pieces for Ashley

*4 things you drink regularly*
1) water
2) lemonade
3) sierra mist [mmmmM =9*]
4) milk

Current shtuff:
Clothes - hahaha.. clotes? =/
Mood - tired and I really shouldn't be
Music - Our Lady Peace... leave me alone
Taste - banana [eh]
Make up - well aside from the 49875498 layers of foundation.. nothing
Hair - SHORT >:0
Annoyance - cold feet
Smell - my room =)
Desktop - laptop of love <3
Book - Psych stuff
CD in cd player - Kill Bill Vol. 1
DVD in dvd player - my dad's Bruce Lee dvd
Refreshment - good ole water
Worry - the list is endless [heheheehe]

Last Person (as of today) you:
Touched - my sister
Talked to - Glennn
Hugged - hmm.. sister again
IMed - Matthew
Yelled at - my siblings
Kissed - New Years I guess...

Favorites:
Food - French Fries are te swetest sin =9*
Drink - non alcoholic: water; alcoholic: I really wish I had a preference
Color - blue and slate and... red... i Know it's weird
Album - Linkin Park's, Coldplay's, OLP's, Incubus, and all those mixes I used to make
Shoes - no preference
Candy - try ALL OF IT! hahahaha
Animal - puppies and panda daddys
TV show - I Love Lucy, Real World, and allll those vh1 specials
Movie - uhhh can't really decide
Song - again, N/A
Fruit - Oranges
Vegetable - Broccoli ^_^
Cartoon - Daria lately

Are you:
Understanding - yea ... when need be
Open minded - yes
Arrogant - not really... lol, no seriously I'm not
Insecure - of course
Interesting - am I?
Random - yup yup
Hungry - unusually
Friendly - I try to always be
Smart - I'm in college ... so uh?
Childish - push my buttons and you get me circa 1990
Moody - as much as anyone else
Independent - in some ways yes
Hard working - when I'm on a roll
Organized - back in the day...
Healthy - physically? nope not really
Emotionally stable - I usually am.. bastards
Difficult - like I said, push my buttons..
Attractive - who's lookin and who's asking.. o0
Bored easily - is this over yet?
Messy - only all the time
Responsible - everyone has their moments where they learn the hard way
Happy - eh, content
Hyper - ... only Michelle
Trusting - not at first... too much as we move on

Who:
Makes you laugh the most - Manny and Ismael
Makes you smile the most - whoever makes me feel special [<333]
Gives you a funny feeling when you see them - whoever gets me smitten~
Is easiest to talk to - Nicole.. and Brighton

Number of:
Times you've had your heart broken - devastatedly: a few
Hearts you've broken - ...uh
Close friends you have - a few here, a few there, over way over there too.. I guess I'm not alone =)

Now YOU take this and make me read through it.. sure to cure weekend boredom and stuff. late

Now Playing: Kill Bill Vol.1 - Luis Bacalov - The Grand Duel (Parte Prima)

Elimination. So yeah, Michelle Joe and everyone who's constantly yelled at me for it ... I'm putting up new pics soon. ._. ALso I'm fixing up the blog links and stuff. I guess I feel like excommunicating.. or something very much similar. late

Now Playing: Macy Gray - I Try

So, as Joey and Habib go off to eat food with Enza, I sit here watching my Daria and listening to this horridly catchy song. I'm pretty sure most not at UCR are not informed, but she and I stopped talking back in late November, over some prespectively ridiculous skirmish. Funny, I've been down these roads before so many freaking times.. and each time it feels both weird and individually strange. At this point, I indeed feel like little positions I used to hold were replaced by other people.. don't worry, it's not like I hold a grudge.

Don't get upset, but I notice these little usurps quite a bit. I mean duh, these things aren't really meant to happen on purpose.. but yeah. Things happen.. Once Meg decided to drop me out of her life completely, she found someone else, not that we were tied together.. officially.. in the first place. Once Peter and I stopped being friends, whatever time and such we spent together were spent back with his old group. Glen and Dan [both whom are friends] seemed to pick up where I was left off once Matt and Jenny dropped me out of sight. I dunno... do you ever notice these kind of things? I know people are irreplacable.. yet we try as hard as we can to fill in the voids left behind with a fresh new face, unintentionally or not.

Now, the times getting lost and getting food and sharing intimacies with Enza were given to Joey and Jesse. I like my buddies and all... but everytime they're called out to go somewhere, all I can think about is how.. that used to be me. Ugh.. this song won't go away. Don't worry... like I said, it's not like I hate anyone for what has happened. Hey methinks I should watch more Daria now.. oh and Matt, bluewave is the newwave 8-)

Now Playing: Everyone complaining about food

and with the new year comes new opportunities...



Call me =)

Now Playing: Our Lady Peace - Waited

One thing Luis has to do is seriously dedicate time to both his journal [thxx again Patra] and deciding what to put on this thing. I hate repeating myself (although we allllllll do it alllll the time) so that's something I gotta work out. Gah everything requires balance.. it's irritating trying to achieve such an ideal thing in anything. Anyway where was I ...

Back at UCR, and it's all pretty good again. I missed everyone I admit it ;-p and classes are great! I just hate the idea of having late tuesdays... m. In order to start this year off properly one has to be ambitious and SERIOUSLY make this year count. Hell, what we should** do in life is make the best of everyday, but we all know that we don't have that strong an ambition or willpower. yet. Ugh philosophical jargon from class... I missed this place fo sho.

You know what. We all have small epiphanies and realizations every day. It's a damn shame that we ponder 96% of them and then they waste away into nothing. I really should carry this lovely journal around with me everywhere.. I feel like I waste off sooo much that I could be explaining or sharing and it's about time I stop wasting my life "waiting til later" to do shit. Yeah.. everything has it's time and place, who doesn't know that? But just because that is so, doesn't mean we can be lazy about every damn thing. Without action all you have is a serious Hamlet complex. OH! I'm out.

Now Playing: Linkin Park - Lying From You

Note to self:

AND ou SLASH U: -_______________-
theeseXayone: =)
theeseXayone: sup
AND ou SLASH U: And you're not even TRYING to update

ass. I guess I'll be back once I'm back at teh UCR. late

Now Playing: The Postal Service - Such Great Heights

Hey Brighton.. just to brag and stuff, guess who talked to Peter An your fantasy today? ^_^ hahahaha. We should all just admit to being part of the Peter An club. Cmon, Joe, Roel, Glen, Matt, Jenny everyone... admit it.

theeseXayone: peter!!!
PetersAimName: luis!!!

I didn't get to see a few folks I wanted to see this break.. but that really doesn't matter as long as they know they're not forgotten. Gah.. such cheesiness at nite. late

Now Playing: Queen - Bicycle [<3]

Alright fuck super long picture post idea.. way too not in the mood for it. Let's just say Happy New Year you guys, last yeasr was a wild one, hopefully we can make it through another full of crazy ass adventures and good times. woot woot indeed

I really have to thank Daniel Friedman for his amazing party last night, you're a great guy Dan :D thankx for letting me sneak in last sec. hehe. New Years Party this time was ... the wildest I've ever had. Last year Jenny Matt Meg Amy and I were together, and it's all really blurry to me right now.. but yeah. I've been blessed with having spent the last 2 New Years with some of the greatest fuckin people in the world.

I got maaassively wasted or something, having done everything from weed a couple times to krazy drinking to hookah [that Friedman is a great host], and all I can really think of saying is thanks you guys. Matt Jenny Brighton Friedman Stone Taryn Sophie Michelle Ariel Glen Enza Alison Gillian Tori Lauren Schnieder and all those krazy CHS kids there and those krazy Davis kids.. thanks. We ended the year with a blast. Don't worry, all thjose picstures and memories are goin straight to my new journal =D. But yeah to my closest and dearest.. just thank you for every freakin moment we ever got to spend together. Ugh I'm not feeling well so it's time for bed. bye =)