Now Playing: Rocky Votolato - Tinfoil Hats

Soul term paper: 35% complete.


I gotta say, the referrers and links that direct to this place are a litttttttle creeepy lately. People coming by here from Oregon and New Jersey though.. who the fuck do I know in any of those places besides Chalamar, and she NEVER goes online...

..ok back to papel.


Now Playing: Explosions in the Sky .. and in my head

as I write away for Glidden's paper (with his whole-hearted approval!), I just gotta say that you are a sad pathetic fool and it serves you right and always will.

How could you wait til now to get started... EVERYthing due the 7th!!!!!


With no music playing, I feel I should say the following.

It is really kinda fun sometimes to go into your archives and see how much a year changes or doesn't change you. One year ago, two years ago, three, to this very week, it's really awesome to have this ability to track your pastself. That's one word. It breaks my heart sometimes to see how intense and real life is, to where the past is just another link to the left of your screen. intense, eh.

man. If I wrote in not a blogger kind of way, I would honestly make a book out of this place someday. Otherwise it wuld be a horrid read full of LOLOMG ;P and %&%&*%&* and waa waa music. hahaha.


Now Playing: Fielding - The Giant

Other extroverts are exciting to me. I just wanna be around them, feed off the energy people give one another, and THRIVE!!!!. But Megaverts (yes, mega extroverts) are monstrous to a guy like me. UCR Housing would have created some intersting stories for myself if I had joined them after training. I remember always looking forward to being in the Bearcave with these groups of... of people you don't relly meet often. I've lived and been with introverts most of my life so it seemed so amazing to have these folks who LOVE the social scene around me. Looking back it sucks that I didn't join them all, just because of the relationships that could've been. One doesn't come around that calibur a person often, or at least I don't. With all this said, they sure were some intimidating people. I was more in awe than paying attention most of the time. The extreme nature of a person who is everywhere at once with everyone at once, is something I can't handle at first.

Man, how horrified must the rest of the world be of the extrovert, if you have someone like me mumble and stumble like an idiot when I cross a bigger one around campus. It's so.. thought provoking.


Now Playing: The Album Leaf - The Outer Banks

The previous entry and the following day secured my term paper topic for Glidden's 115 class. I cannot explain how nice the feeling was to come up with a topic I think I can write on, and have it be truly organic in its creation. Everything I write is organic, but this is the first time where the topic comes straight from the noggin.

Thanksgiving was not a bad holiday by any stretch; I got to see the best friend, the soulmate, a bunch of people gathered together just having FUN, and I got to be with my family. What else could you want? Some folks may feel like you have to go out to spend quality time with the people you care about, but those folks are idiots (or don't really have friends...) that which truly matters is simply the company you keep period.

Now Playing: Calexico - All Systems Red

written in Notepad, November 24 2006

I think numbness is a dangerous state to be in.

Nowadays, when something swerves in and hits me, I feel less and less; I almost anticipate chaos.

It's dangerous. It's unhealthy, but oh so natural. You shock a mouse for so long without a method of escape and the mouse stops fighting eventually. I'd really hate to get to that point.

So here I am, feeling an emptiness of emotion that is more terrifying than any single thing that's happened.

This Thanksgiving I come home to the news that we lost what we had in the public storage. I wanted to be so upset, ALL my college notes, years of work and history, all thrown into the garbage because after 10+ years, we missed 2 months of rent in a row..

and I sit here again, wondering why I'm not acting out, or feeling out anything. I feel a void, a dissapointing air that is all too familiar.

How does one care for the soul, how does one get back up when the world leaves you broken time and again? Better yet, why get back up at all? What's the smart thing, nay, the best thing to do when you're down for the count?


Now Playing: somethingsomething on USA

The fact that Kajol and I look alike the most makes this probably the greatest thing ever.


Nerdie boy: enza just said something catty about you
theeseXayone: that is awesome
theeseXayone: but so what


Now Playing: Brothers & Sisters, on ABC

yeah, more tv makes me feel awesome.

I have a very unattractive pile of things to do this coming week. Specifically, Philosophy of Agency gave me TERRIBLE MIDTERM from hell itself.

Anyway, I realized a few minutes ago that I can take over this universe.. again.. so with two phil138 books lookin me dead in the face, I decided to first read for Clark lab meeting. I'm about halfway done, and I suddenly felt as if, I can handle this. If I lock myself in the bathroom and write out about half of the midterm, I can probably read a ton for Care of the Soul tomorrow.. and then kill myself..

I dunno. This week won't be fun. Gonna go try and conquer the beast again.

oh, and Brighton and Glen are MINE this Thanksgiving.