1/31/2007

Now Playing: Calexico - Roka

I am seriously considering going to therapy here at our counseling center. My clinical professor says, what better way for someone interested in any psychology practice to experience what it is like from the client's point of view? A lot of us in class kinda looked at each other weird, like.. maybe there's something to be said for that kind of experience for us psych students.

Couldn't hurt at all, especially now before I let any pressing matters affect my life more than they should. I think I'll make an appointment for next week. For me, as the school year chugs along on its last legs, crises never felt so overpowering.

1/29/2007

Now Playing: Rilo Kiley - I Never

to do list, week 4

email Dr Clark for R meeting
start PAS paper
blog on garden ruin
learn to bank?
sobrevivir este tiempo de difficultad

1/23/2007

Now Playing: The velvet Teen - False Profits (off the EP)

it sure is damn cold lately. so damn cold.

I think the winter melancholy just hit me.

1/15/2007

Just wanted to throw in, New Years was.. a trip.

I was super glad to spend it with my Ewaldo :D. FINALLY I got to see her over break. Josh Glen Jenny and I all had a ball, it was ridiculous. Note to self: buy Apples to Apples. Get secret santa gift from Glen.

The day after I realized I ... I think I know what I want out of life. I also decided I'll be carrying my old new journal with me everywhere. I figure two things: I shouldn't let good stuff leave my head without being jotted down for further exploration, and.. just about 4 years later, I need to start writing with me hand again. Let's see where it takes me this time. VIVA REVOLUCION!

Now Playing: +/- - Let's Build a Fire

A new, more virile me is emerging.

After the very enlightening Winter Break I was fortunate to have, I got back to Rivercity and everything slowly became crystal clear. I think you'll all be able to see the results of what I've experienced the next time you see me.

Anyway, Starbucks stealing of internet with Laurie is fun times. While it's kind of sad to say how awful we feel without internet at home (yeah, Charter AGAIN), it feels even better to come together to the evil corporate coffee chain, laptops in tow, trying to be as adult as we can. You'd think doing homework and checking mail was a hassle, but if you do it all with family... really, nothing is that huge a hassle to do.

ok. bye. Happy New Endeavors, 2007.

From my parent's bathroom, December 20something, 2006 -

Future days loom ahead that I would rather skip out on.

Today once again I got to spend some time with Glen and Brighton. This time we met up with Matthew and Sarah to watch Pan's Labyrinth atthe Galleria. Currently cannot say much on the movie.

We were all supposed to meet up at Carney's for food and whatnot after, but I quickly changed my mind. The fact that I was clearly broke and that always makes me feel strange kind of decided it for me.

Being broke and on my own is something I can manage most of the time. I hate the feeling one gets when they realize they're the poorest of the group - so I try to avoid those kind of awkward situations. However, being broke as a whole family really stings. I mean seriously - we can't do ANYTHING on a $2,000/month salary. It has crippled us. It's crippling us spiritually too, which is a much more damaging effect than any temporary lack of funding. We can't even find somebody to cut us a break, get us a loan, or find any new cilents. It scares me.

I'm sick of this "situation" and do not know what to do. I mean it really gets to me sometimes - be it true or not I hate to think hey - do my friends mind that I'm like this, that I need money to complete a fucking lunch or dinner or a movie? Even worse - how can a guy enjoy the last months he has at college wondering how he's going to pay the damn cable bill?

I'm sure one day I will be thankful for these times. But I really wish these times were gone and gone now.

I need to figure something out. Or resort to something...
This is ridiculous. Pretty much anything one can name, I've been there, suffered this, conquered that, and come out stronger than before. Here though.. the technicalities of life are doing a thorough job of draining out the spirit of me, and even worse, of my family.
Man.. I can't handle seeing my parents deteriorate before my eyes. This is getting increasingly difficult.

Help.

--

My New Year's resolution is to continue to surpass myself, every chance I get. It's changed my life, this fiery ambition that burns...

Here's to another year full of opportunity, of passion, and of prosperity. You ever look at the past year and trace when and where you suddenly changed (even a smidge)? I hope that everyone's grown nicely in the direction that calls them. I think it is amazing to see. I may have blogged less n less, but I have continued relentlessly to experience what life has to offer. I can't regret a single thing.

I never will.