Now Playing: Puddle of Mudd - Blurry

The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn, like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars.."
—Jack Kerouac, "On The Road"

Now Playing: some Shins, some Rocky, some Velvet Teen.. some exhaustion

what a blasted summer. The Summer of stalling. The summer of life's inevitability.

Can't say I have felt much like blogging or talking for the past 2 months or so. I also can't say I've had the opportunity to do so. For the sake of some self-help (and a reminder to update the pics down there..) I'm gonna lay it all out: The Stump that is the summer of 2006.

every song will, of course, hold a special meaning to what I talk about.

Now Playing: +/- - The Separation of Church and State

On the more boring side of this summer, I spent all of July waiting. waiting. my ass off.

I waited and waited to go back to Riverside. Since the end of June, I was officially homeless after moving from Bannockburn. So the family and I scrambled to find me a co-signer for Spruce Village, which is where Bryan and I wanted to move to. After going mad getting the application filled out and having it accepted, all the while I was waiting.. for Bryan and his dad (aka, his co-signer) to turn in their blasted applications.

What ended up happening, all of fucking July, was his father and my dad talking on the phone, repeatedly. You'd think that would mean oh hey, things are going on - but no. Every conversation would end with "I will talk to my wife about it". right.

All of july flies by. If you recall (well.. if you had talked to me before summer), I had big plans for this summer. I was going to do my background searching for my opwn personal research project. I was gonna be back and forth between Riverside and the Valley. I was gonna gonna gonna.. woulda if I coulda..

..BUT COULDN'TA. August 3, 2006: (in paraphrase) "I have decided I do not want my son to move from where he is."

aaaand the emergency alarm goes off at my house. I waited FOREVAR for this man to just turn in his stuff - and he tells us a month later that we're too poor to be reliable as co-signers.

Too unreliable, eh.

So it was a huge mess.. this homelessness..

but fortunately =). the living situation corrected itself by grace of God himself. I wouldn't be dying in lab otherwise!

Now Playing: +/- - The Queen of Detroit

on the laborious side of summer, I worked while waiting for absolutely nothing.

I was hired by my dad's boss to me an assistant, for my dad. Why not make some money and bake myself in the sun while I wait to go back to UCR right? Right? So I did. Pools here, construction there, horrible clients everywhere.. my days, Mon - Thurs + some saturdays were spent traveling through Los Angeles and Santa Clarita with my dad. We would usually get back late afternoon, and fuck, if that wasn't exhaustion we were feeling, then I can't complain.

I'd get home and once in a while hear that someone called. You know though.. you work in the sun all day, and all you want to do when you go home is shower and sleep. Fuck the telephone. The tiredness and burns (btw, turns out I am sun-sensitive!) would be worth it when I would get my moneys. $$$$$$$$

...which has not happened.

My dad's boss has been involved in a very serious lawsuit, details of which I have no idea. However, lawsuits = lawyers, which = money, which in this case = money that should go to your workers. My dad and I haven't recieved any money in over three weeks (all of July, mind you). I think in total I am owed around 6-700 dollars.

So with no source of income coming home, things started to go away. The cable went, then internet, cell phones, GAS, home telephone, and lo and behold, rent was so overdue, we got the LOVELY 3-day notice to move the fuck out if we didn't pay rent.

It's been a pretty bad place for all of us this summer.

Now Playing: The Velvet Teen - False Profits (cute version)

it's all coming down..

To tie the story up nicely, lets go to early/mid August. I found a roommate by God's command!

The special I was offered in July was to move in and get the first month free. huzzah right? Well I call to confirm everything, and bam - It is AUGUST 2006. There is no move in special. I have to pay the first months rent + security deposit.

Since we were, ahem, in the cardboard poor house, this was probably the most bittersweet news of all. We got this housing situation fixed - when we have no money to afford it.

Family problems here, money going to this and that, no money coming in at all...

The two days before we were to sign the lease (August 13, which is Maria's birthday), me and my family drove around the valley. We spent that friday and saturday going to acquaintances homes, asking for money.

By all accounts, I should have been, or should be depressed.

Now Playing: The Velvet Teen - We Were Bound (to bend the rules)

Coming back to Riverside was a great breath of fresh air (not literally, not at all). I've seen most of my Rivercity family, and now, my focus has shifted a bit from all this... life, exploding in my face, to something very urgent to myself.

The whole point to being here this summer was to do my research, to study for the GREs, and to figure out what schools I would want to go to, and for what. Now it's the end of August, and I am left pretty dazed and faded from this whole mess. It's grating on my head like no other. However, this subject is for another time.

I would like to say though, that yesterday I wrote emails to 6 or 7 of my professors, some of which i've had and talked to, and some which i haven't. I wrotye a plea for some attention. I figure that, who better than those already where I want to be to help me sort out my over-ambitious madness.

With that said, tommorow at 2pm, I have an appointment with one Dr. Robert Rosenthal.

(AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!) ahh =)

Gotta keep fighting every step of the way as I say, and so I'm off. Somewhere in between this hot mess of a summer I turned 21, I got to be with my soulmate every friday, and I got to realize that maybe opportunity isn't always in our control, but what we do with our choices always, ALWAYS is. Look up Rosenthal on wikipedia btw, as this is going to be the biggest honor I've had in quite some time =). Quite the personal belated birthday present for me!

I think it's time to drug myself out with some toob. But man. Life can sure kick ass in both directions.