Now Playing: outside madness


it is fucking POURING here in lovely Riverside, California.

Well this ends the arguement. We win guys. Riverside really does make no damn sense, ever. I'm not complaining though!!!!! I love the rain ^_^!!!


Now Playing: Damien Rice - The Blower's Daughter

gonna play this one alot 8-)

Things on my mind, on this late night 26th of april:

- greg wants to hang out in our group from last year. that is soooo... cool =) so guys, we should all go get food sometime and catch the hell up

- "I can't take my eyes off of you.." I hate this song, so much..

- I was reminded about the more than obvious conclusion, as to why cuz and i argue like... family.. I will write about it someday

- I did something alot of people would think is awkward, and I messaged someone on facebook.. because I'm shy and stupid

- i hate my classes.

okay, seems substantial no? Perhaps I have too much on my mind to structure and jot down in any real order or anything. eh.

ps. and izzy is right. When someone out-extraverts an extravert, it sends you for a spin. Damned krazys out there.


Now Playing: The Velvet Teen - Your Last Words

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh man what a great day with a GREAT concert =)

Habib and I spent our evening at the Glass House, to see The Velvet Teen, w/ The Good Life, Bella Lea, & Consafos [omgfreakout&^%$#]. Hadn't seen them since they came to UCR in the fall, and that was the first time I ever heard them, so it was a pretty big thing to see them again.

Habib bought me two shirts!

I will never, ever be as scenester as the fucks at these concerts, man. Habib and I stuck out like whores at church.

I got to meet Josh from The Velvet Teen!!!!!!! *eeeeeeeeee* I shook his hand, told him I ... love them, and all that grand stuff, and yeah. So awesome.

Emo boys making out in front of us was definitely one of the greatest moments I have ever witnessed. Why? Because they looked like fucking twins

I saw some other UCR kids at the concert. At least I think I did. Must make friends

The concert itself was fucking awesome. The bands whom played before were pretty good too. I got Habib to buy one of their cd's so I can rip it soon ^_^. The Velvet Teen was fucking amazing, and we were just feet away. Judah is awesome, and had a cast over two of his fingers, so someone else did guitar duties for him as they dazzled us emo kiddies. They were all awesome. And they all noticced I was singing to the music [well, in MY mind hahaha], so they'd look at me and that was pretty fuckin cool. Habib has a crush on Casey, the drummer. At least his calm and collected drumming. yep.

I need to see them again, soon. Quite a way to treat myself eh?? Cconert in the middle of the quarter. To compensate, now I have to work my bum off once again. At least I got an awesome break for good behavior. man... such a great ass time. must digest


Now Playing: Our Lady Peace - Are You Sad?

dude. This song really takes me back to last year. *reminisce*

you're going to be so pissed once the granda gorda puta tells you I put this up.. but eh


I know you hated my extraversion last year. The bringing in all of K building into our room [along with I and E building]. The bugging you when you wanted to listen to your shitty ass Slipknot. The Habib next door. You know you can complain and say whatever you want, but for every little quirky thing we had between us as people, there was the awesome stuff, like the random keeping-me-awakes til 3am, the defending me, when the journal madness occured, and you being drunk, which I believe to be amazing.

You and I got to taste the college experience together as roommates. And while philosophically, we may differ on various things, that didn't stop me from having a great time with you. I'm glad I got to live with you, because it really helped me gauge alot of things, about people, and about myself. If only you didn't... play Halo... oh god.

Have a good one Joey.

and I lied, I have more than just the two pictures of you. But you like the attention dontcha?


Now Playing: Kill Bill Vol.2 - Lole Y Manuel - Tu Mira


today is your special, special day =).

Ever since 10th grade, whether we thought about it or not, we've run the gauntlet together. Scary no? *throws up a little*

I particularly detest this picture =)

Okay but in all seriousness, I need to tell you. Through the high skool madnesses that plagued us both, the good times, the bad, and the really fucking funny.. I think with each and every passing day, we grow tighter and stronger, as both individuals, and as family. I only hold deep respect and value for a few of the people in my life [despite claims], and you're definitely one of them. Few in my life have not only been with me for so long, but told me that I remind them of themselves.. you remember that? Yeah, I don't either. That was probably one of the most touching moments in my life, actually.

sorry, had to break the emotional tension there.

Now look at you, 20!!!!!! Veinte! You're a VIEJA man, vieja. Saggy love! hahahahaha. And wow, look at how far you've come, since that super-nice girl everyone tried to adopt for ''adopt-a-minority'' back in the day. Man. I can only wish that I can learn and grow and evolve as well as you have. If I had money, I'd make you or buy you something akin to how I feel about you, now 20 years young. I can only hope this isn't a crummy gift [my eternal lavishing of love and evil]. So..... ho sex lives on. Along with all the great times we've shared in the past one trillion years. Let me know how it is on the other side! It's gonna take me months to get to this end-of-teenager-ness crap. sis

oh god *runs to bathroom*


Now Playing: Iron & Wine - Cinders and Smoke

*blink* o_-

you know what's awesome? Taking 5 minutes to sit, think, and look at where you've been and where you are now.

Some kids have come a long, traveled way from where they were even a year ago! It's astounding. Those are the people to look up to, the friends that see change as opportunity's nickname. :) And thank GOD most of the people I care about have seen it as such, and now look at all of us! It leaves you speechless, no?

Then you have those who, for the most part, have stayed and will remain as the same person they used to be. Not necessarily a bad thing, but I think there's a BIG difference between retaining your main sense of self, and refusing to see and experience things in a different way. Look at you fool! Still pessimistic, still alone, still.. there. ok bye


Now Playing: Ozma - Immigrant Song [Flight of the Bootymechanic]

ahhhh small break, small break.

Been thinking alot about the madness that is the spring quarter of 2005 up to this point, as I go through each and everyday doing.. whatever it is I actually do

observations, because I lack a notepad:

- I'm retarded. Wait, no. So as of a few weeks ago, one day in bio34 I heard someone call out my name, but me and my blindness didn't get to see who it was. And ever since [literally, this has been a weeks long thing], I hear voices. I hear my name being called out. And it's weird, and it makes me look like more aloof than ever, but yeah. I wonder if I made up the whole calling out thing from bio, too.

- 19 units is too much

- Why is it I can totally talk to girls I'm attracted to and be all evil and flirty, but when I wanna make a new friend, or just talk to ANYONE new, I'm a retard and shy?? aiya, I make no sense.

- Go to hell Barbarian, straight to hell.

- Lab is awesome, but I caught myself in something bad. Well, not necessarily bad, but just.. noteworthy. See, I work for Dr. Burgess in the psych[o!] dept, and it's been great. Jon and Zana are cool, the other RAs are fun [like Jen and Christin!], and overall it's been really chill. However. Be it because of one reason or another, I used to make fun of Burgess, and maybe it is all situational that my mindframe has been changed. I'm not the only one who falls into that kind of pattern [I recall other RAs dissing their respective Professors before they all suddenly decided to love them], but dang. Can that be avoided? We all look so shallow doing that kind of thing. I need to sort that out.

- When I'm in a group with people I consider vastly superior to me.. I shut up, because since I think at light speed anyway, anything I say just solidifies my stance as the group moron. Why is that? Such an inferiority complex within friends. should ponder that for a while

- STAFF alternate seminar is pissing me off, heh. I love my staff friends, but dude, someone seriously hates the shit out of me to place me in the small section group with the TWO people I ... yeah... nevermind there.

- Having crushes is lamelamelamelamelame &*#@$$#^& I DONT LIKE IT

- Car rides and walks that end at almost 3am.. I think it's those kind of times that I like the most out of college. Well that, and that awful, horrid lady who served us at Burger King. She was a dude, dude. But hey, everything else was great. Thanks, Sarah :)

- I should not blog again. I should've read 90875643 chapters today.. maybe after a nap. NAPPAGE!!!!! I missed ya so :D.

ps. The Velvet Teen: April 24th. WHy the hell haven't I found someone to go to this thing with me?? *rots away* Cmon fellas.. how could you not?

Now Playing: fan

the madness continues. in great, awesome, and awful ways. what a quarter already =)


Now Playing: Ozma - Maybe In An Alternate Dimension (Flight Of The Bootymetronome)

So I've been struck with the madness.

This madness doesn't ''follow me'', it becomes me. I am the madness when I let it seep a little too far into my thought processes and it invades my senses. ha.. it's like Azaka's birthday party.. I am possessed, and my articulations, feelings, and my PERSONA all change. I am not myself. Wait, no. How am I not myself? *repeats to self* ...

I love meeting new people, making new friends, hanging out with said people, and continuously cultivating my current relationships. Sadly, I lack patience, patience, and hmm patience. My ambitions get the best of me, always.

things are good.great.no.strange.butnew.ihavenoidea. I enjoy being busy, but I'm stuck in these.. situations that I am far too anxious and far too much of a dreamer to .. get over? Forget about? What are you supposed to do ya know, when you've beat the band, proven the naysayers wrong, and now you've hit a slump?

This particular slump is a kicker, and probably the biggest reason, is because I seriously have such little time to actually feel it through, and I can't.. process.. all I can DO is feel, and act aloof, and out of sync with the rest of the kids around here, who each have their own madness over them.

Spring fucking madness.

ps. going out and being with manda til 2am is amazing. It is madness.. but I really like that kind of madness


Now Playing: Our Lady Peace - Waited

so how does one go about getting over the one person that was able to mess with their heart strings like madness??

..seriously, tell me, because I can't really figure this one out on my own. glarb


Now Playing: Damien Rice - The Blower's Daughter

peachyfuzzynavel: i want to find a bf like you one day
peachyfuzzynavel: lol
peachyfuzzynavel: ;p
theeseXayone: haha..