no no.. no music today. Since this weekend I decided to 1. not do any substantial work and 2. ignore almost everyone and everything that wasn't family..

..I am going to subject myself to little sleep and TOTAL WEEK 9 DISASTERNESS from here til Thursday, June 1st. adios. Good luck seeing me out of class.


Now Playing: Our lady Peace - Is Anybody Home?


must... watch... xmen3... *reach*


Now Playing: deathhhhhh
Today: 600

just keeping myself on some sort of track!


Now Playing: ahhhhhh
Today: 550

"Just go. Get used. And Love it." - Zana Devitto, 12.35pm.

dude.. more to come on this... I have to reply to mailsssssss


Now Playing: Nick Drake - Poor Boy
Today: 660

It's kinda amazing how I can see myself going through these psychological shifts in dimension. As time goes by, it's become rather clear that I am more or less done with the uber-extroversion stage of people-seeking.. and now I like being by myself more times than not! As the UCR kids go touch themselves while bands like The Ataris play @ Spring Splash 2006.. I stroll through the western outskirts of campus to get to my lab, I put on some music, and fall asleep while reading.

The question is always asked, is personality fluid, and if so, does that make most actions phases, part of an endless chain that come together? Or is personality more static, making this recent introverting transition a more permanent change in who I am?

I don't like answering that question. I just like seeing how it all goes, and changes, and stays the same. I think I get better and better everyday. This self-love has gotta explain why I don't like sharing myself with others nowadays, don't it?


Now Playing: The Ataris - Hero Dies in This One
Today: 730

This two day depression will end this evening. Things to do, for the next three days:

Make appointment, and talk to Professor Reath. Ask what I need to do to do better.

Practice, and succeed, at running Ryan's experiment.

Work out (guess what that 730 is!)

Prioritize, again. I get alot of flack from myself for ordering myself too much (heh who knew right?). I make lists of things to do everyday! But these past weeks ... it's almost as if I have settled it in my head that I want school to end.

That is going to COST ME, BIG TIME, if I don't shape up. Time to seek out the old girlfriend. 3rd floor, by the windows. I can deal with all of this one at a time.


Now Playing: air of uncertainty

I took the "Tell us how UC it" survey. That survey was pretty interesting... made me wonder how the UCs TRULY stack up against one another. Took longer than I thought it would too.

So, outside of a nice time with my cuz, stealing some coupons because I get no such mail, today tanked. It tanked bad. I think we all left both of those situations pretty down, and left us feel like we were in more limbo than we thought. I mean dude! Where do you go from here after you have become invested in this thing.. with time telling you that you have not much time left?

I thought maybe applying the philosophy FORMATA to this situation would help. But to be honest, sometimes logical thinking isn't the greatest tool. THERE, I SAID IT. Must integrate and process. bye


from The Pit, a messageboard I frequent:

I think Nintendo will have a problem with quantity of games (a huge problem ever since the SNES), but what they have seems promising. My problems with the controller not withstanding, Nintendo's show did come off exceptionally well. The DS looks to be STACKED for years --- good thing as it is (and I did not expect this) easily the best of the two major handhelds. I assumed Sony would cause Nintendo a huge headache, but Sony is clueless what to do with the PSP and, it seems, their entire corporate strategy is a muddled mess. I really do wish Nintendo well --- but I worry that a lack of 3rd party support might hurt the system unless they can resolve that problem. Nintendo had to wow people with their show and, unlike last year (when people went nuts for their show, but it did nothing for me) they delivered the goods and I'm actually contemplating getting a Wii.

Microsoft had a really, really good show. Not as good as Nintendo --- but Nintendo was unveiling while most people knew what MS had. The Halo 3 teaser trailer was quite good (man I LOVE my Marketplace). Sony losing exclusivity to GTA is a huge blow. I've not played F.E.A.R on the PC (my computer can't even run Civ IV), but I heard good things, so I'm optimistic. Lost Planet is much MUCH cooler than I expected. Fable 2 should be great and Forza 2 is perfect. I'd actually like to see a Sudeki sequel --- the original was insanely flawed, but the foundation for a great franchise was there. I don't know a ton about Too Human, but Bioware usually produces the goods --- and the XBox Live Arcade seems to be a friggin' Godsend for Microsoft. If they ever get the Darkness together, it could be great. And while TimeShift apparently is delayed (the demo was ridiculous, IMO), Crysis could be a great FPS.

Sony? Sony tanked. I'm sorry, but there isn't a lot to feel good about with Sony. The PS3's problems are now both well-known and fairly lengthy. Being unable to really upgrade a core system is Sony's biggest blunder to date --- way to make sure your games don't look better than the 360. The price point seems like it'll be a huge problem and none of the PS3 games just made you want to buy them. We know GTA won't look appreciably better on the PS3. Rockstar won't have time to improve --- and MS getting updated material seems to make the 360 version the must-get version. The PSP continues its streak of decent titles, but little outstanding software. The PSP is second to the DS for a good reason --- the DS has much, much better game (and Super Mario Bros coming out next week is one I've been drooling over). The PS3 seems to take bits and pieces from Nintendo and MS and then attempts to paint them up as original ideas from Sony. If companies like Square-Enix remain basically Sony-exclusive companies, I'll be somewhat surprised.

I honestly see Nintendo taking Japan. I also see MS taking the US, but barely. Sony will probably be the biggest overall, but Sony HAS to have the PS make money (God knows the XBox isn't making MS money and Nintendo makes money no matter what).


Now Playing: Happy Birthday mom!!!

Today after waking up after 3 hours of sleep, I got to see my family today. Vain was MIA as school has overtaken his soul and refused to let go :(. Today is my mommy's birthday, so I took the family to Olive Garden. It was such a nice time, and it went by way too soon. Yo quiero a mi familia, y hoy mam, te quiero decir que sin ti, yo no seria la persona que soy hoy. Tu eres la mujer mas ejemplar que yo conoczo. Eres hermosa, dedicada, y bien chula :) Me das las fuerzas de seguirle al pleito todos los dias. Nunca dejes de ser quien eres. Te amo!!!

Now Playing: +/- - Crestfallen




I give Christina the remote for 2 MINUTES, and she puts it on the hindi channel, where this old guy is singing about hotos, and now the men have no shirts on, dancing in wiggles with women.

ahhh I missed her :)


Now Playing: Belle & Sebastian - The Rollercoaster Ride

these past few weeks have been... rather revolutionary.

In short, the past few weeks have taught me that once again, we are the power we want from the universe. I can have an amazing time with some of my closest friends (Ashley's 21st birthday, having an amazing time with ash, my cuz, izza, etc), I can study whatever I wish in the universe (lab), and I can just as easily.. find interest in the worst of possible subjects, if I tried (justice).

I am the CEO of the louieverse.

Today, jon yelled at me. By that, I mean he expressed serious concern over the direction I am taking with this career thing. Rather, the lack of direction I am taking..

Basically, I have to accomodate my interests into my future career. Basically, unless I want to do clinical psychology, I should drop out from psyc198g for the fall. I should dedicate myself to becoming amazing at research. "You're doing alot - and you won't get good at any of those" jon would say. "Don't turn into ----", jon says. He's worried that my lack of decisiveness is going to be the end of me. Funny, as that is exactly what I was telling sean to do all day. Be decisive. Make decisions.

So with what jon talked me through, I've come closer to knowing what I want to get into. Let's break it down for me lui! in PHILOSOPHICAL FORMATTA:

a) I am an extrovert. I like the social ambience. I enjoy people.
b) I have not-so-secret introverted tendencies. I enjoy being by myself doing something, sometimes. I like talking to people one on one.
c) I CRAVE KNOWLEDGE. I must have it. I want to discover things, I want to fix things. I like to fix things alot. I want to learn, to fix things.
d) Being a professor fulfills the needs of the extrovert by providing the social environment I want.
e) Being a professor allows me to study what I wish to do, and it allows me to talk with people one on one.
f) Being a professor allows me to shoot up massive KNOWLEDGE DIRECTLY INTO MY VEINS
g) Being a professor allows me to do research, which means, I can try and fix things, discover things, and be a part of an interconnected mass of amazingness that we call the psychology body of knowledge.
h) Therefore - luis should pursue being a professor.

The worst mistake to make, is forget who's the person that is pursuing this graduate school thing. I can't forget myself in this process, so I won't. Now.. it's between psychology law research... or clinical...

a decision coming to a blogger near you. blogo.

thanks jon. I am really gonna miss you. and methy.