Now Playing: The Decemberists - Of Angels and Angles

no mass crunkfest this Halloween. How upperclassmen in college of me =0. yeah right

Hate to admit it, but I am beyond help with organizing myself. So to end this October of 2005, with its October Sky of burning bright sun.. here's a list of things to do

Cog Psych ch. 6 SQ3R
Read Personality ch. 9
Re-read Mengzi, start on Philosophy essay
kill myself
kill myself
kill you
Read Personality articles

I will do this all by Tuesday night. TO THE LIBARRY!


Now Playing: Jimmy Eat World - Goodbye Sky Harbor

great day. EVerything is once again, rolling by awesomely, difficultly, and intensely. And I'm as happy as a .. what's really happy? People say happy as a clam, and I don't see it.. but yea

Matt, this is my room. In roughly 360 degrees, going right.

It's not so bad. Life is chill. I'll just not live in a loft ever again. Good times. Show me yours =0

*looks up ambivalence*


holy cow


so glad my cuz and I talked stuff out. Dunno why but I'm always gonna feel a ... connection to her. *gush*. ok bye

Now Playing: Zero 7 - Simple Things

awww. I'm just as passive aggressive as the best of them sometimes. It's definitely one of the harder things to do some me-work on. bah. That's a bummer. I don't like holding stuff in and taking it out at random upon the people I care about. I also don't like being made to feel stupid.

and in other ''i hate to admit it'' news: I really kinda dig the personality psych articles we have to read every week. There's so much to do research on, it's kinda krazy! *gush*


Now Playing: The Walkmen - Bows and Arrows

I had the greatest weekend. Man, definitely a keeper. One of those experiences you can't do justice to by telling people about it.

School is blazing by once again, and yesterday, all I could think about was the summer. Specifically, talking to Izzy on the fone throughout it. I was laying against the frame of my bed as I remembered how many shitty things happened to him while he was doing the Bear Facts thing. And how a lot of it rang a bell with me.

I guess I had let it slip my mind as school started because Ismael is much mroe resilient than I am. But remembering it all now.. once again I feel that Willie is not worth his time, or my time. Man, the fact that people can bust a ... a thing like that onto someone, trying to rally troops against them and leaving them out? That shit really puts the human potential on the bad side of the spectrum. I couldn't stand for it when it happened to me. And as one of my best friends, I can't stand for it when it happens to someone like Ismael.

Yep, all I did was write, run and think yesterday, and nap. No reading ahead or anything. Oh well. A few priorities have gained more momentum.


Now Playing: the sound of SHAME and retardednessss

I'm back in lab after sneaking out for an hour. I heard Mike [best TA ever] was giving a presentation at this weeks personality brown bag lunch thing. I read the paper, saw what class it was in, and totally sat in there, waiting for SOMEONE to come inside. That's what I get for walking in way too early.

What I get for being impatient and walking around Olmsted: total embarassment, level 1. I kept walking in and out of the halls, letting time pass so someone could walk into goddamn olmh 1316 for this talk I really wanted to see. As I walked around, I bumped into Dr. Ozer, and didn't say hi. I was such a pussy =[. So I pretend to be dumb [by being dumb], walk around inside AGAIN in olmsted, and then walk out from the other side.

Dr. Ozer never moved once from where he was standing.

*death* how embarassing. So I busted out the old ''pretend to be on your cell fone so that people don't notice that youre a complete idiot'' routine. It worked until finally, people were sitting in and I took my seat.

I should chime in right about here and mention how awesome it is to sit in a room full of grad students. They're telling anecdotes of dumb undergrads, and generally they're much more intelligent, so it was awesome just sitting around and listening. What isn't awesome about sitting in a room full of grad students is...

being the only undergraduate.

oh man.

SO Dr. Erickson comes in and starts setting up his powerbook. I go uhhhh where's Mike. Then Dr. Ozer sits down. I go phew, ok Mike will be here and I'm NOT IN THE WRONG PLACE. But then he leaves! And I go ahh!H. Then more grad students come in. THEN Dr. Funder comes in [!!!], and by this time, I am sitting in a small room with BOTH of my professors for this quarter, with no plausible way to leave the room without you know, them knowing or remembering I'm in their class.

The seminar itself was pretty awesome; it was on getting a job after getting your PhD. It was super informative, and it made me think that hey, us undergrads don't have such an awesome little push of the butt in the direction of how to go this whole grad skool process madness. I was going to raise my hand when questions were being taken, but something about being in a room with both my professors, a TA of mine, and a bunch of people way older than me ....

I kinda kinda left all nicely when it was over. Shaaaame on me. Where was my breezy extroversion to help me steer ahead and make a nice imp[ression with these awesome psych people? With professors who are like, super famous?

ah well. I come back as fast as I can back into the olmsted basement into lab. Of course, on my speedwalk I almost collide with DR. ROBERT ROSENTHAL.




So I died. I talked to jon about this horrifying experience. It really kinda surprised me how shy and retarded I get around faculty. Erickson is right; we're chicken, but it isn't totally our fault. We go to one of the top 100 universities in the NATION. That alone is intimidating.

I also should've known how I'd react, based off of experiences with cuz and Izzy, where we see a faculty member from our department and giggle and be dumb and die. We call Dr. Parke psychstein =). ai puta. What a terrible, awesome day.

oh, and some of the midterm questions for our cognitive midterm blew chunks, and I may get a higher grade because of their erroneous nature. woot for persistence. boo for pussy shame.

so . . . where the hell did the brown bag presentation happen? did it??


Now Playing: Samuel Barber - Adagio For Strings, Op. 11

man, study break. I'm gonna own that damned cognitive psych exam. For now, here's Leghann madness:

on running away from UCR:

Megster4mi: i'm moving to bosnia
THEESEXAYONE: want company?
Megster4mi: farmer guilde
Megster4mi: if u wanna be a farmer
THEESEXAYONE: only if i get to PLOW
Megster4mi: i want to HO
Megster4mi: hahah

on Habib:

Megster4mi: he's lonely....
Megster4mi: ...in bed

on Manuel:

Megster4mi: ian asked what manuel got and he said 89!!!
Megster4mi: i saw his paper he got a 82
Megster4mi: liar!!
THEESEXAYONE: bahahahaha
THEESEXAYONE: what a puta
Megster4mi: hey thats what i'll call him tomorrow

Megster4mi: oooooo
THEESEXAYONE: awww, short puta
THEESEXAYONE: spanish has the best cuss words
Megster4mi: puta baja!!!
Megster4mi: i now
THEESEXAYONE: puta baja omg
Megster4mi: thats it thats the best
Megster4mi: manuel= puta baja

parting ways for more study:

Megster4mi: i'll ttyl puta leghann
THEESEXAYONE: bye puta leghann

ok. back to study. bye


Now Playing: The Walkmen - No Christmas While I'm Talking


SO the rain began to fucking attack Bannockburn Village, pelting the poor retardedly shaped buildings, as the first real rain of the season began...

since my window doesn't directly get hit with rain [LAME], I ran outside, and ran around like a total rain hippie. It was awesome. I hadn't seen rain that long, hard, and intense in .. ever. That sounded terrible and disgusting. But it's true.


Now Playing: Badly Drawn Boy - Magic in the Air

*cue pretty piano awesome music*

Michelle Phan.. I love you. Without even trying, we've been through a whole garbage bag full of stuff togeter, and it's awesome. awww, we were so young in 2002 :'(, see

GODDAMN, what the hell was with my hair. No, don't tell me. I already know.

Anyway, ever since then, you've totally come out of your pseudo-shell. College, and really, time away from caca constant Cleveland drama has done you SO well. YOU have done so well! You're amazing. All grown up. Depite it all, you've built up quite a life for yourself. I couldn't be happier for you. *jealous rage*

and he couldn't be happier to be with you, mish. Hearts and kisses, I'll never be a flake again!


Matthew Pearlstein.. I love you too

*lets that sink in so you feel all weird about me saying it all explicitly*


here's an awkward picture of us, the first one where we're in there at the same time [and also, really, there's only like 4 pics of us all together, aint that WEIRD?]

hahahahaha. I was so much better looking there, no foolin =/. And look at Ashley!!1 *dies alot*

dude, Matt. All I can honestly say that I haven't said before is, that it makes me feel so good and awesome to know how we're on the same level of almost everything, now. Out of the small cluster of people in my life, you're the one who's evolved the most.. and every there almost every step of the way has been special to me. Sucks you can't be more of a part of my whole college experience here in Riverslide, but I'm glad you're not. It makes me appreciate the relationship we have despite it all even more. bitch.

You're coming into your own every single day. And I can't stop grinning on the inside when I think about that.


Now Playing: Jack Johnson and Rilo Kiley... on PBS

this week makes the return of various stuffs, each with their own grand entrance:

- LAURA RILEY. Wants me to join Student Conduct. And ya know what ... I just may

- LAB. madness. I missed it. No Fundermental Fun with Funder lab til winter. fun times..

- Some nice down time. Like with everyone, and it's been cool. Tonight, Izzy picked me up and we went over to Ashley and Phil's, saw the most .... confusing film ever [Domino], and a whole bunch of other stuff. We went to the new place, Dog Out [which brought forth the return of Blair to Ashley and myself], to the Ralpha Krappa house with cuz, and yeah.

Actually the one thing I dig alot about this quarter is there's always some time to spend with someone. No joke either, it's pretty sweet, and makes me happy. I just wish Izzy wasn't so busy, though.

- CLASS CACA - stupid homeworks every week. More reading than thought possible.

I should say right here then, that with all these weekly caca readings, I have no steady time to keep going on The Fountainhead. This pisses the shit out of me. I actually wanna write about it, soon soon.

- um... I missed something?


Now Playing: The Arcade Fire - Neighborhood #1 [Runnels]

I'm reporting here from lab, ON OUR NEW G5 MAC POWER MADNESS, and it feels sooo good.

I have a lot of work today - yes let's pretend that the first time we hear me complainand such about it :D. I just wanted to say that october is awesome, because..

it's the birthday month for two of my bestest friends!!!!! Happy Birthday Michelle [belated, don't judge me]!!!!!!!!!

aaaand Happy Birthday Matthew =), today you're an old bastard!!! I love you guys. I have a few things to say - and I will, soon. For now, have an awesome day.

awww matt is 20. If only I got reception on my fone down here in the Olmsted basement. Then again, you're probably not awake, old man. :)


Now Playing: The Velvet Teen - We Were Bound [To Bend the Rules]

she's the roseate opiate ruse of roguish rouge
that brings back my black and bruised blues

Ismael and I's jokes aside.. the fact that I haven't even seen her in months, and thinking about her makes me go caca stupid.. makes this a very serious issue to deal with.

Hilarious how my mind is a loaded pistol, aimed at itself.


Today was especially hard in saying goodbye to my family when they dropped me off. The whole combination of my mom's deteriorating health condition, our economic flux, and just the fact that I'm about 100 mles away, not able to help them.. it hurts.

Know me for a while and you'll figure out that my family is one of my sore spots. God, I love them so much. This weekend was way too fast, everything is hapening once again way too fast, and yet soemtimes it feels like I can't move at all.


Now Playing: Ben Folds Five - Missing The War


only taking 3 classes is..

AWESOME. Actually - no. I love having a multitude of stuff to complain and learn and all that stuff. This time around though.. whether it be to the course material or the fact that this is a post-summer quarter, I'm glad I'm taking it a little easier.

So much easier in fact that I'm forgetting things already. I forgot to call Joey back - oops. He musta wanted to hang out :X. There's alot of reading caca to do, minus psychlab work, and minus student conduct.. if that happens. So this quarter will still be as krazy as the others :D

bah. fuck reading. It's nap time.