Now Playing: The Postal Service - There's Never Enough Time

DISCIPLINE is something that is sorely sorely needed in my life again, and is the main focus of my new year. Why did you leave so quickly after the move back? Has this been harder than we anticipated? How do we bounce back?

Today was pretty much a down day. Left my curtains down, refused light to come into me. While I can read and anticipate the signs of a depressive shift, it's really hard not to fall into place when things feel so thick. My bed is just .. too tempting to leave, the outside is too taunting for me to walk out to - I NEED TO SHIFT GEARS HERE!

I told myself I would return to being my proactive self, and it's been surprisingly difficult to achieve by myself. I stare at the keyboard and just wonder why? I need to really get things happening, even if I kick and scream as I pull myself out of the rabbithole that comforts me with it's dark grasp. Fighting myself..heh. Somehow, everything we as human beings do to better ourselves always involves some kind of internal battle with that little, scared part of our soul that begs and cries out "IDONTWANNAAA!!!!!"

My fight continues on. Sorry man, we both knew this wouldn't be easy. We'll make it. Discipline always works, when the executioner cares. Man, I need to remember that I care.