semi-relevant thought to previous post: I think the biggest reason why I go out and do crazy things and put myself out there and meet people is the rush.

I like the way it feels when my effort, which is such a HUGE effort, is reciprocated and welcomed. It feels like a second wind during a workout, like listening to beautiful music. It feels like Gai opening gates of life, pure crazy life energy.. heh. sorry for the anime reference. But it holds true. I guess I really am willing, to some extent, to suffer the crash and burn of a let-down, a door closing in my face, just for the possibility that things will work out if I work hard enough for them.

guess I just have to work harder.