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THE CRUSADE, 2005.

from a word document 'blog'

July something something, 2005

>_0 arrgh. Years of, as my brother states “being a bitch” have finally caught up to me. Karma and I are currently not speaking at the moment hahaha. Oy. I typically get sick about once or twice a year. And man was I overdue!

So with my fever reaching new heights and my body feeling new lows, internet down and phone too far to reach, I’m in bed. You know that feeling when your whole freakin body just hurts? Everytime I close my eyes this beautifully warm sting washes over them. Ahh sweet pain. But today while I was dying in the shower I feel like this all serves a purpose. It’s forced me to stay in place.

I never considered the idea that long “vacations” do anything worthwhile except slow you down. So many of my friends have taken this school sabbatical to travel, to snorkel with the dolphins, to escape the house, and striken a school sabbatical – summer school. Man, so many little plans I did despite myself. Going to Mexico. Davis. Riverside. I have done none of them and overall, doing NOTHING drives me up the wall!!!! I can’t can’t can’t just do nothing. I hate it. It’s straining my being. I fully believe that this sickness was meant to address that.

I wanna go out and enjoy myself, find something to do, but I came back home for a reason. I gotta let go. This isn’t the time for me to stay “busy”. I’m gonna have to convince myself to enjoy the time I have left. Already I don’t like to go out as much anymore. Izzy is right guys. Being busy beats spending money doing unproductive stuff. I’m not saying short visits away doing things you don’t usually do is bad, but… would anyone really wanna do that all the time?

Happy belated Birthday Chally. I’m an asshole with no net. I hope you had a great great day.

0_< *melts into puss*


Day 2


Forget day 2. If you’ve ever been close to a fever dream, then you have a smidge of a clue as to what Day 2 feels like.


Day 3


Everything is still on shutdown. Immune system went to the liquor store and never came back. Cell phone offline, internet offline, CABLE OFFLINE WHY ARE WE SO POOR BUDDHAJESUS! Agh. But I’m feelin a bit better at this point. >_0

Happy Birthday Blair Jamieson, you sexy, sexy man. You act strange, you disappear sometimes and my girlfriends think you’re … pretty, but that’s exactly why I like you :D; I like my people weird, erratic and attractive. Hahaha. And alcoholic. And with a borderline obsession with Dave Matthews (you know what they say about those who listen to Dave Mathews). If I were a guy, I’d go out with you.
Back to the Food Network.




Day 4


UGHUGHUHGR785. Slowly stabilizing. The heat in the valley has been busting and bending records left and right this week, with Chatsworth hitting like a million and Woodland Hills as well. The situation it puts us in here at Teran manor is pretty swank: wit no central air, we all huddle into one room here in our 2 room apartment mansion, turn on the pretty little air and slowly tear into each other.

We recently discovered this… intense love for the Food Network. Yeah Izzy and I had a thing for Rachel Ray since forever, but… oh man, there’s so much more :’(. So cooking is in store soon, and I think once I can handle the kitchen, I’ll know the health is on the rise. Glorb. Must leave the house. We’ve all been in here forever. Gonna go krazy. But feeling much better, no more fever!!


Day 5

…

I pulled something yesterday, placing down 3 pizza boxes onto the living room floor were we were to picnic. I have a history of le back pain, and everytime it stings me I remember that our bodies are prone to damage down there. Stupid faulty human design. With my virusy-illnessy thing practically gone, I feel a lot beter in terms of everything, EXCEPT MY BACK STUPID BACK &%^$#@. But hey! My drive to write and read is back! The sex drive is back!!! Ahhhh I missed my sex drive =). And still the biggest drive makes me the happiest; after 3 days I ate something and it didn’t taste like sucia! ^^^^^ man. Stupid back.

God I love you and all, but cmon, if it aint fever madness, its back problems? Why you trying to hold me back to ‘relax’ like this? Whatever.. tv is on, and I’m tired of fighting and trying to do stuff. Slothery, come get reacquainted with ol LJ. *kneels back in chair* ahhhhhhh. Gilmore Girls. Cuz, you and my sister need to stop watching this. Rory is like 8 >_<. Now Backdoor Contessa… that’s a show I’d be proud to watch. Bye gang


Day … 11… 6 days after day 5 makes 11, si?


Heat wave. I’m feelin fine and dandy now woot woot, but with people dying [literally] here in the valley due to the heat, we’ve been advised not to leave the house until the afternoon hours. This makes being a hermit easy, but seeing friends… not so easy. Feh. Still no internet. FEH. Talked to izzy a few days ago. I miss izzy and everything and everyone a lot nowadays. All I’ve been doin’ is playing games, watching food network, COOKING awesome food, and going on late night ice cream runs with the family. It’s actually kinda cool.

We have a few huge family events coming up soon, which means that we’ll be going to homes of people we never see [and there has to be a good reason for that], and dragging our butts out of the house to uh, get reacquainted with the scattered relatives we have around here. When the hell am I getting out and doing some fun stuff without dehydrating?!?

You know, this is the last day of July, and I haven’t seen anyone outside this family circle in ages. Stupid isolated July.


Day whatever (August 2, 2005)


Internet’s back

INTERNET’S BACKKKKK!!!!!!!!!

A million emails and comments and cacacacaca later, I finally got to sign on and suddenly being stuck indoors after all these weeks doesn’t feel so awful…. Wait…. It still does.

I think now that I’m healthy, the weather isn’t killing people and I have the net back, I’m gonna go back to the summer I was looking for – alone. It sucks sometimes, having friends scattered around everywhere, me in the middle of the vast valley, but hey. It’ll make it awesome when we finally get to see each other again, right? I hope that whatever any and everyone is doing this summer, they’re enjoying it.

That’s all that matters in life. Enjoy what you’re doing, live life, and work with it when the times get.. noisy. Going through blogs, trying to catch up with people’s lives… I’m glad everyone is making the best of their time. I’m learning a lot just reading here, seriously, but enough reading, I need to get out. You know going outside before 7pm for the first time in weeks… I really do feel like a vampire. One sexy, sexy vampire.