Now Playing: Iron & Wine - Such Great Heights

Why break yourself over the unbreakable?

Why luis.. why.. why. I dunno, because I like to believe nothing is truly unbreakable, and I like to believe that if it's meant to happen and I put forth that effort.. I can break through. I can cross over

Isn't that a little unrealistic? Maybe, I mean it sure does seem to set me up for eventual [or immediate] let down. Thing is, if you don't aim for anything or take a risk or gamble some of your security and happiness.. what the hell ARE you doing?

I still think you push yourself too hard, and you don't have the confidence to pull it off. People can smell weakness. Yeah I know I know I knowwww.. but that's just who I am. I want something with such ambition and passion, and I want it.. now.. and so I stumble and fumble my way towards it. I'm not disagreing at all.. I'm just a guy looking for something new, and I think I found it..

And you think rushing yourself and scaring the shit out of people with your retarded actions will get you what you want? Everything you hold close and dear just CAME to you; it just HAPPENED and you LET IT happen. You didn't stress or cry or worry or overthink. What makes you think you'll be happy and dandy NOW when time and time again, life has shown you that if you thinkthinkthinkthink it all too much, everyone will end up fucking disappointed. What the hell is wrong with you huh? It's like you're even more of a loser for not only acknowledging your flaws.. but not doing enough to erradicate them

Yeah.. but try is all I have, man. That and a support system of friends and myself! I have you. And if I can at least see and know why I'm so messed up.. I'm still ahead of so many other lost fucks in the world.

Er but yeah, right now it's not doing much for me. And people will flip when they realize I just debated with myself during this entry. eh well.

Why is our relationship so awkward? Because I made it so. Goddamn me.