11/19/2003

Now Playing: Dashboard Confessional - Broken Hearts and Concrete Floors

Onto a few matters

Still not talking to Enza. Probably won't either for a while. It hasn't been easy lately, but thank God I haven't gotten too moved by it. It's probably because I've been down this road with many people before her. Perpetual Disappointment. heh. I've been scarred left and right, it seems that something as serious as a fight with a friend isn't gonna phase me anymore.. visibly, that is. I feel terrible because by not hanging out with her, I'm doing exactly what we both feared.. and that was the ignoring and neglection of each other. I get the feeling that even if I decided to talk to her more, she'd send me away and reject anything I said. So I can't even try making up with someone who would do that to me.

I guess it was bound to happen. Too much time together and I need serious time alone once in a while, which eeeeveryone knows. I can recharge my batteries, I can always come back, but damn.. I felt so drained by her. I can't give ANYone constan attention even if I tried.. so I don't know. It isn't fun not talking to her and junk, but I think we both need this time away from one another in order to realize what kind of relationship we had. I'm not her one and only, nor do I wish to be anybodies one and only.. don't gie me total and utter reliance onto me, because I've done it to others... and it just drives them away. It drives them away. away.. far.

Almost happened with me and Ashley too, but we're dandy again. We're super alike in case you haven't seen us in action :P... which is why I think we both kjust know when to stay away for a while. We're back to being buddies which is great, and now that we know when we need time away from one another, things won't get as nasty as they have been. Yeesh... is this happening at all the other campuses?

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