Friedman and I made peace. good times. I added ya to my links, homie.

There's something about making peace that just... <3333 makes you feel blessed. I've been thinking alot lately, about forgiveness, etc. I used to tell Matt how too-forgiving I was to everyone about everything. It's pretty true... shit just slid down my back. This one time in Metco, I got put in the circle, and I got broken into small pieces.. what came out was that I'm too forgiving, in order to avoid excess conflicts. It's weird! Two years ago, when I got angry, I'd get violent.. and fast. Now, I just push myself away. It's hard to be under attack, my friends. Recently, I felt like when I got mad, I was too UN-forgiving... something I used to give Matt crap for. :-) It wasn't that long ago that I told myself I'd never forgive some people for all the shit they had done to me... but I just don't feel like holding that kind of grudge anymore. When people just constantly hurl crap at me now... all the testing of my will isn't going to make me stand around anymore. That's like self-infliction of pain, man.

It was the constant berating and anger that came from close friends of the past that I just let go on, and on, and on... and I was constantly just tired. They all ended with them pushing me away, ironic because it was still the last thing I wanted to happen. Looks like it might happen again... in vain, or something. :-(. Very few of my friends have been able to stand the test of egos and time. Even those I love the most went through some sort of shit. Case in point... Nicole and I have known eahc other for 7 years... and we've only become close in the last 2. heh... I can't deal with anyone's anger at me all the time. It's made me get very irritable and unhealthy.. so I'm gonna mind my own business, work with what I get, and just remember the good times... what else can you really do? Lie in order to make things okay? That's not something to base ANY kind of friendship on. I miss you already