Damn.. parents love killing my plans. Sorry Enza -_-'. Since I'll be home for another while, I might as well purge whatever else frustrates me at the moment.

My family's financial problems never seem to stabilize. It's really starting to eat away at my everyday life; I can't sleep, I can't enjoy time out, and I can't mellow out anymore, knowing that we're heading into yet another damn spiral. Yeah, the fall 03 quarter is pretty much paid for, whoopie. It took a lot of LUCK and EFFORT to pull together the 1st quarter's bill. But what about the next quarter? Luck was luck, and it's gone. We barely get by, on anything. I feel like utter shit spending money everytime I go out with my friends - and if I don't spend anything, I only get made fun of [besides, that's all anyone does with friends]. I'm worried.

I'm worried that I'm heading into this 'prestigious' UC system, and won't even make it past the first half year. Its THAT serious. Yeah I know what you people automatically think of, what about financial aid? scholarships? why don't you to go a CC? blah blah blah guys. I've thought about all of those, alright? I can't get aid, it's as simple as that. at all. I could go to a CC sure... but what guarantees any chance of getting back into a skool as big as a UC? My future never seems to be certain, heh... in any way, and this is no different. I'm gonna start breaking out, and getting pissy more often, I'll end up looking like ... nevermind. Get me OUT OF HERE NOW