Keeping to yourself in a crowd of rowdy teenagers can really help put things into perspective. Even though, I was as loud as usual. Last nite [and yesterday in general] took my mind for a huge trip... I don't know what to think of any of it, hopefully I will once I'm done here. I kinda hate blogging now, and one reason would be because, I can't take it with me when I have this huge thought and I'm not at my computer. I end up losing tremendous realizations and sh*t when I decide to wait til I get home. I'd take my journal around with me, but it's so full of... a past I don't wanna read, and if I had it with me, I KNOW I'd end up flipping thorugh the pages. Anyway, quick rundown of recent events [better rundown than Enza's!]:

Jenny and I met at Northridge Park [Mish was at the POOL YOU DORK!] and headed off somewhere cool. We ate and... well, we were both kinda nervous I could tell, but we ended up fine. So0o glad we're friends again. Went home, and Enza n I quickly made up plans to go out tonight with whomever. It was actually Brighton's idea to do something that night since she's leaving [ugh]. So, Glen picked me up and we were off to Cheesecake Factory. People present - Enza, Justine, Meg [!], Talia, Jenny, Glen, myself, and... Matt. The group atmosphere gave me flashbacks, and I don't think I was ready for em. Like... I really wasn't. We get our table, waiting for Lissa, Brighton and whomever else wanted to join us. Lissa came and I died of joy =]. Zodin popped out of nowhere too, twas koo. Conversations came out of all directions, and honestly, I enjoyed it. Was taken by surprise too. Dunno wut to say about that actually. Loss for words.. anyway it was a pretty good time, I LOVED seeing some of my friends again, some of which I hadn't seen in over a month. Brighton never showed up, by the way. Listen baby, you may be irresistable and charming, but YOU'RE THE WORST FLAKE EVER. EVER. So yeah..

I realized that amongst people, nobody can help but GOSSIP. It seems to be the only thing anyone can think of in order to keep silence away. I admit though, it can be fun just shootin' the breeze with people sometimes... but it's all anyone wants to get into anymore. I mean yeah, I get it... it's entertainment, but all too brief, shallow, and down-right sleazy. I kind of got sick of it after a while so I just chilled, enjoyed being with my peoplez. Gossip is a double-edged sword and as much as I enjoy taking part in it, it worries me how easily my friends can just talk smack about whomever... it makes you think, what do they say when you're not around? heh. Even though I have pretty good ideas. Anyway, It was a surreal time, because... it felt so nice, when I don't think it would have, normally. I guess I'm skipping around certain issues but that's because I can't portray what I feel with words. Eh well.

The latter stages of the night were pretty awesome. Enza, Justine and I are now strippers btw, watch out for a wallpaper coming to a desktop near you. You can call us Candy, Chrissy, and Destiny. hahaha holy crap... we're dumbasses. xD As we were walking to Enza's car at the Galleria, in my head, I felt so grown up... heh. I think it's because, I was with two of my homies, and I spent the night having a good time, and drama didn't come out and ruin it for anyone. I guess it comes with age. Yeah... everything comes with age. Still dunno why Matt offered me a ride home. You know, after typing all this shit out, I still don't know how to classify anything... but I guess I have time to sort it out for myself. I know I say it alot, but fuck... I'm tired of blogging for other people. It's all for ME~, biotches. I really should listen to those who tell me to please myself, before pleasing others. I wish I could be more like her. lata

"This is the second three-way I've turned down this week!" - Enza, in the car