2/06/2003

I'm honestly thinking about ... getting rid of my infiniteprofile. I dunno, I feel that the last thing I wrote (which deals with... uhm people) signifies the end of something in my life, and the start of something new. If circumstance and God allow... hopefully this something new won't mean forgetting those from before.

In this tremendous time I've spent on earth, and specifically this past year, I've had this inner struggle to find... what I came to learn as my middle ground. Coming into contact with people last year, I was still very out of sync... out of whack, being very extreme in my emotions, after keeping everything in for the earlier portions of life. I've had extreme lows, and through those I found myself coming into extreme highs, and with those came extreme mood swings, extreme situations... I'm tired of the extreme.

I wanna continue the search for what I want in life, from myself, and from my friends. Sometimes, everything I've accumulated in this life hits me all at once, and I feel at a standstill... a nice middle. I guess I'll always slip down, and climb up somehow, someway. I just wanna bask in this middle space... before I try to do anything else. It's such a good feeling to have, too. Middle ground is the basis for what life entails! If I had any concept of this before... I wouldn't have bumped into Tim in such a tumultuous fashion. However had I already had this concept of a solid middle ground... I wouldn't have people like Peter in my life to teach me the way to be happy. God... I love you so much just for listening to me... ahhhhh. I don't know if I'll remove my infiniteprofile. Hell, one day I'll just fucking delete this blog, too. It just feels like.... sometimes I can't escape the little box in the buddy info window. I wanna express myself somewhere else sometimes. out there. With you. Cuz somehow... I'll always be with you.

Today we carry each other
Today we do what we should
Today is the time for forgiving
Today I wish I could..

I'm sorry, I can't lie.. I wasted too much time
Drowning, I've been blind..
But I opened up my eyes
Sorry I can’t lie... So I'll just say
goodbye, goodbye.. goodbye. yeah..


I haven't had a mood swing in a while..

0 Comments:

Post a Comment

<< Home