Tired of nothingness... I'm unpleased with my writing, unpleased with how utterly worthless these free days seem to be like. I get sleep, I see people, I live life, but I'm unpleased with it. I serve no purpose nowadays, and that aggravates me. Hate to say it but, school gave me purpose. Gave me excuses to ache and pain and to be happy. I'm at a standstill right now, I guess. If I had another job that'd be fine, if I had a goddamn car that would be best, but... whatever. Tired of nothingness.

Tired of people... I was talkin to Malalai, got to thinking about how I'm so pissed off, deep down inside at people... if I put effort into people and they don't so jackshit, yet STILL want to cling onto me for seflish reasons, then fuck people man! I was a fool, thinking if you showed people that you were willing to tough it out with them, that they'd see that and have some reciprocal feelings for you. Doesn't work that way. . . so I guess in a way, I need some distance from those people, those... selfish, cruel people, that I give such a damn about. Perhaps then I'll know who sticks and so slides, ya know? And whatever, I have people that I know care about me. Why do I waste time trying to prove myself to others, when I have friends that I don't need to 'work' for? Tired of people.

Tired of break... I need things to keep busy or I rot in the depths of hell, mental hell. These past 3 weeks have left me to vegetate, and i may have wanted that, but I don't anymore!!!! I hate doing nothing, and I hate having to scower the world to FIND something to do. Heh... tired of break.

But I don't really wanna go back to school.