You're an idiot. Wounded wounder.. you, me.

You can push the limits, you can persist, you can tell them all that it means the world.. but you know you alwayz end up setting yousrself up for pain! Sorry to break it to you man but you do this to yourself all the fucking time..look at the past, and the now, avoid that future.

But nah...once you get hurt you revert to that shell, that old tired and true shell, and write. Write away man, write away, or nah, don't write, go play some games.. and that's when the cycle gets into full speed.

Afterwards, you're hurt, and you know....then you hurt others, because you feel some pain, you just can't grasp and deal with ti correctly... you can't deal with them because you can't deal with yourself sometimes huh...oh I can tell, I can tell...write some more, write some more, you've left disappointed souls in the back, they cried because you let them down.

I guess they joined the club huh. Personally, I hate this club...god it's so self confining, I just wanna live it up with the friendz I have...and I know you do too..

Now you tell me..is the reason you can't handle this, because you can't handle how similar everything is to one another? You can't handle yourself...write some more, write even more.

Good luck. I'm still waiting, I guess. Just like you'll always wait, because honest to god..it matters, doesn't it. =] I'm alwayz in some sort of predicament anyway, and yeah...here comes more I guess.

(And I).. Just wish that I didn't feel that there was something I missed..
(And I).. Take back all the things I said to make you feel like that..

This is my December...these are my snow covered trees...this is me pretending..

Do you know how I feel now?