Outside by Staind is THEE FUCKING SONG, dude. Just for the moment. Or year...

I sound pretty fucking angry nowadays, hell, look at my journal...I can't believe such shit happens in this world. I was reading my blog's mini summary under where it says drained, and I laughed at how FUCKING ACCURATE my long-standing motto is... this week it did feel like I got sent back to Point A, I'm broken in so many ways right now...I can't mend this shit again.

But you know, I have to be thankful for one thing, if only one right now.

That would be Nicole.

I used to have a big crush on her in 7-8th grade...hahaha oh man, we seemed to hate each other back then. 1st day of 7th, we pass by each other and I go to hug her right, and she says, "You still come here??"

Anyway, she's one of the very very few people in my life that I have close to me, that I know since jr. high.

But, we only got to be 'close' friends this year, so I'm experiencing a lot of new things from her that well, it took years to finally grasp for myself.

It sucks that in my life, I was always sent downhill, and therefore shut myself down to knowing people, I was such a jerk... I only know people for about a year, while most of them have friends since fucking elementary skool, so of COURSE I'm not to them, what they are to me...it's painful as hell and makes me very angry...only this past year I got to open myself up to new people and new things, and while I experienced (and still do quite often) growing pains while in the process, I gained valuable shit. Very valuable.

She is one of them.

I may have known her for 6 - 7 years, but I only got to 'know' her this year, and whatever, I am grateful that at least I DID get the pleasure of being a part of her life...

Man oh man...I'm gonna reminisce a lot this year.